around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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