I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the day after is always just damage control
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
