Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize