We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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