And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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