he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
