after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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