Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
