Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
