I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
