We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
