:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
