sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
