my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
MIDGETS
????
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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