ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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