she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
