I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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