Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
