I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
