i don't like sucking hair
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
