So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
