Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
