I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
