my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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