This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
