I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
