I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
