Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
