She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
