Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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