if you like me you must not know who I am
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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