Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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