wanna go halves on a baby?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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