Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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