No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
