did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
