It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
