At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
