our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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