She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize