Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
