you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
