It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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