He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize