we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
