You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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