I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
