ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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