Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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