no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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