I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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