great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize