You can't special order awesome
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
