fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Congratulations! We have a period
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
