Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
