I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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