You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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