Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
