I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
