About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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