he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
