I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
