you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
