I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
