i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
