Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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