so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
