People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
