I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
