it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
