please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize